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Christina's Title Bank

This piece appears (in severely bastardized form) in an entertaining and informative journal called McSweeneys, issue No. 3, coming to a savvy bookstore near you.

From time to time it has occurred to me that a particular phrase or word would make an especially good title for any number of works and/or enterprises, but I have lacked the requisite inclination toward work or enterprise to actually create the signified entity. The bottom line is, I've got a lot of good titles and nothing to put them on.

These ideas are hot stuff. I am offering them for a small fee, allowing readers to avoid pricey corporate branding and identity middlemen.

They make especially appropriate monikers for rock bands, nail salons, children's shows, album titles, erotica catalogs, and video games. Some titles may or may not be used in conjunction with others on the list to create a "mix 'n' match" effect. No guarantees on whether Internet domain names already have been registered.

General Love

Sinfessional

Thrillocity

Shoot Bang Bang

Vagile

Wall of God

Oprah's Spirit Parade (may represent trade conflict with Harpo Productions)

Glossylalia

Acrylic Nightmare

Cartman's Pride

CP320

Bardalicious

Honey-Coated Nails

Roboschlock

Y2OK by Me

Levert Sweat Gill--SOLD

Monster Schmuck

Water Pik Sonata

Stick It!

PagiNation

Lights, Camera, Evil

Ping Ping and the Bamboo Adventure

Viva Stefano

Burns Unlimited

Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick

You a Dog, Charlie Brown (some restrictions may apply)

Ciabatta Dreams

Born Slippy, Again

Bin Laden Hunting

The World's Funniest Bombing Incidents (best with TV projects)

Com.com.com

By Christina

Jehovah Blinked

Beaucoup Ducats

Sink, Line, & Hooker

Remember Me to Tito

Kinderschokolade (domestic rights only)

The Man From Palestinia

Keep On Punching

Sisyphus and the Big Hill: The Musical

Celine's Syrup Chalet

I Love You, Don't Trust Me

Ginsu Geisha

Impeachmentarium

Rink of Gore

Crap Online

Just Stop Talking

Do You Want to Be a Journalist Too?

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