In The Sibling Society, Robert Bly quoted The Psychology of Sufism to explain the Muslim term nafs, the Commanding or Bitter Soul.
Our souls can be deconstructed in terms of the nafs; it can also be used as a handy guide to human flotsam. Check here to see if your former (or current but deservedly former) flame bears a disconcerting resemblance to the Bitter Soul.
| Nafs | Your Ex |
| 'It always follows its own desires.' | x |
| 'It knows only how to sleep, eat, and gratify itself.' | x |
| 'It constantly sings its own praises.' | x |
| 'The nafs may command one to be a worshiper...solely for the purpose of being accepted by people.' | x |
| 'One of the latent vices of the nafs is its love of praise...when the nafs is deprived of praise, it falls into violence and laxity.' | x |
| 'It considers important the least thing it has done for anyone, remembering it for years afterwards...yet however great the favors others do for it, it places no importance on them, forgetting them quickly.' | x |
| 'Its very constitution is founded on breach of etiquette.' | x |
| 'It is like a firebrand...though its color is attractive, it burns.' | x |